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Yet even the German books are not entirely free from attacks of the Parenthesis distemper — though they are usually so mild as to cover only a few lines, and therefore when you at last get down to the verb it carries some meaning to your mind because you are able to remember a good deal of what has gone before. Fourthly, I would reorganize the sexes, and distribute them accordingly to the will of the creator. Such has been, and continues to be, my experience. By using this site, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. I say to myself, “Regen (rain) is masculine — or maybe it is feminine — or possibly neuter — it is too much trouble to look now. A little learning makes the whole world kin.— Proverbs xxxii, 7. I spoke entirely in that language. Observe these examples: These things are not words, they are alphabetical processions. Strictly speaking, Zug means Pull, Tug, Draught, Procession, March, Progress, Flight, Direction, Expedition, Train, Caravan, Passage, Stroke, Touch, Line, Flourish, Trait of Character, Feature, Lineament, Chess-move, Organ-stop, Team, Whiff, Bias, Drawer, Propensity, Inhalation, Disposition: but that thing which it does not mean — when all its legitimate pennants have been hung on, has not been discovered yet. So he resorts to the dictionary for help, but there is no help there. So overboard he goes again, to hunt for another Ararat and find another quicksand. Very well, I begin to cipher out the German for that answer. A culture as rich, intelligent, and fascinating as Germany will of course have a language just as complex and sharing the roots of many Indo-Aryan languages such as the ever-confusing, all-conjugative Sanskrit. One might better go without friends in Germany than take all this trouble about them. But in English, when we have used a word a couple of times in a paragraph, we imagine we are growing tautological, and so we are weak enough to exchange it for some other word which only approximates exactness, to escape what we wrongly fancy is a greater blemish. It merely means, in its general sense, “herewith.”. Everyday low prices and free delivery on. German names almost always do mean something, and this helps to deceive the student. One often sees a remark like this in our papers: “Mrs.Assistant District Attorney Johnson returned to her city residence yesterday for the season.” That is a case of really unjustifiable compounding; because it not only saves no time or trouble, but confers a title on Mrs. Johnson which she has no right to. The Shortest History of Germany. Amazon Restaurants Food delivery from local restaurants. “Also!” If I had not shown that the German is a difficult language, I have at least intended to do so. I found this piece to be a fun elbow in the ribs at the German language. For instance, the same sound, sie, means you, and it means she, and it means her, and it means it, and it means they, and it means them. I suppose that in all languages the similarities of look and sound between words which have no similarity in meaning are a fruitful source of perplexity to the foreigner. These things are called “separable verbs.” The German grammar is blistered all over with separable verbs; and the wider the two portions of one of them are spread apart, the better the author of the crime is pleased with his performance. I have shown that the German language needs reforming. That shows that the sound of the words is correct — it interprets the meanings with truth and with exactness; and so the ear is informed, and through the ear, the heart. One is washed about in it, hither and thither, in the most helpless way; and when at last he thinks he has captured a rule which offers firm ground to take a rest on amid the general rage and turmoil of the ten parts of speech, he turns over the page and reads, “Let the pupil make careful note of the following exceptions.” He runs his eye down and finds that there are more exceptions to the rule than instances of it. Very well — then the rain is der Regen, if it is simply in the quiescent state of being mentioned, without enlargement or discussion — Nominative case; but if this rain is lying around, in a kind of a general way on the ground, it is then definitely located, it is doing something — that is, resting(which is one of the German grammar’s ideas of doing something), and this throws the rain into the Dative case, and makes it dem Regen. As understood, ability does not recommend that you have astounding points. Sixthly, I would require a speaker to stop when he is done, and not hang a string of those useless “haben sind gewesen gehabt haben geworden seins” to the end of his oration. These are perhaps all I could be expected to name for nothing; but there are other suggestions which I can and will make in case my proposed application shall result in my being formally employed by the government in the work of reforming the language. Thanks for deutschhe us about the problem. Harris and I had been hard at work on our German during several weeks at that time, and although we had made good progress, it had been accomplished under great difficulty and annoyance, for three of our teachers had died in the mean time. Tach Allerseits, vielleicht gibt es Kollegen, die diese Liebeserklärung an die deutsche Sprache noch nicht kennen. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders. Our word Toothbrush is more powerful than that. These cookies do not store any personal information. We have the Parenthesis disease in our literature, too; and one may see cases of it every day in our books and newspapers: but with us it is the mark and sign of an unpracticed writer or a cloudy intellect, whereas with the Germans it is doubtless the mark and sign of a practiced pen and of the presence of that sort of luminous intellectual fog which stands for clearness among these people. This would simplify the language. Now there is that troublesome word vermählt: to me it has so close a resemblance — either real or fancied — to three or four other words, that I never know whether it means despised, painted, suspected, or married; until I look in the dictionary, and then I find it means the latter. See how it looks in print — I translate this from a conversation in one of the best of the German Sunday-school books: To continue with the German genders: a tree is male, its buds are female, its leaves are neuter; horses are sexless, dogs are male, cats are female — tomcats included, of course; a person’s mouth, neck, bosom, elbows, fingers, nails, feet, and body are of the male sex, and his head is male or neuter according to the word selected to signify it, and not according to the sex of the individual who wears it — for in Germany all the women either male heads or sexless ones; a person’s nose, lips, shoulders, breast, hands, and toes are of the female sex; and his hair, ears, eyes, chin, legs, knees, heart, and conscience haven’t any sex at all. 1. Die Sprachen, die sich nicht entwickeln, sind die tote Sprachen. That paragraph furnishes a text for a few remarks about one of the most curious and notable features of my subject — the length of German words. Can any one conceive of anything more confusing than that? I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective. Deutsche Version. But these little instances are trifles indeed, contrasted with the ponderous and dismal German system of piling jumbled compounds together. But their German equivalents would be ever so nice to sing the children to sleep with, or else my awe-inspiring ears were made for display and not for superior usefulness in analyzing sounds. I consider this capitalizing of nouns a good idea, because by reason of it you are almost always able to tell a noun the minute you see it. N. B. Would any man want to die in a battle which was called by so tame a term as a Schlacht? Die schreckliche deutsche Sprache oder auch Die Schrecken der deutschen Sprache[1] ist ein kurzer humoristisch-satirischer Essay des US-amerikanischen Schriftstellers Mark Twain aus dem Jahre 1880. Or would not a consumptive feel too much bundled up, who was about to go out, in a shirt-collar and a seal-ring, into a storm which the bird-song word Gewitter was employed to describe? Wenn er aber auf der Strasse der in Sammt und Seide gehüllten jetzt sehr ungenirt nach der neusten Mode gekleideten Regierungsräthin begegnet. And that sentence is constructed upon the most approved German model. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. In German, a young lady has no sex, while a turnip has. However, it is not well to dwell too much on the separable verbs. Of course, then, the reader is left in a very exhausted and ignorant state. Also the reparenthesis, the re-reparenthesis, and the re-re-re-re-re-reparentheses, and likewise the final wide-reaching all-inclosing king-parenthesis. Such a course as this might be immodest in another; but I have devoted upward of nine full weeks, first and last, to a careful and critical study of this tongue, and thus have acquired a confidence in my ability to reform it which no mere superficial culture could have conferred upon me. The capitalizing of the nouns I have already mentioned. Now, the foreigner, equipped with these three noble words, is master of the situation. It confuses the plurals; and, besides, nobody ever knows when he is in the Dative case, except he discover it by accident — and then he does not know when or where it was that he got into it, or how long he has been in it, or how he is going to get out of it again. Our descriptive words of this character have such a deep, strong, resonant sound, while their German equivalents do seem so thin and mild and energyless. Feb 03, Miguel rated it really liked it. Now observe the Adjective. There is no other way. I could have used it sooner, but I was waiting to hear from the Father-stork. BRECHT TERROR Y MISERIA DEL TERCER REICH PDF, CARMINE CHIELLINO INTERKULTURELLE LITERATUR IN DEUTSCHLAND PDF. Very well, I am ready to reform it. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Buy the selected items together This item: Twain doesn’t just complain about the absurdity of some of German language’s aspects, he also offers suggestions for its improvement. The Awful German Language A little learning makes the whole world kin.— Proverbs xxxii, 7.I went often to look at the collection of curiosities in Heidelberg Castle, and one day I surprised the keeper of it with my German. If a man were told in German to go there, could he really rise to thee dignity of feeling insulted? Now there are more adjectives in this language than there are black cats in Switzerland, and they must all be as elaborately declined as the examples above suggested. And if I have not also shown that German is a harassing and infuriating study, my execution has been at fault, and not my intent. You can begin withSchlag-ader, which means artery, and you can hang on the whole dictionary, word by word, clear through the alphabet to Schlag-wasser, which means bilge-water — and including Schlag-mutter, which means mother-in-law. Ehrgeiz vielleicht noch, ja sogar Neid. They are, therefore, an offense, and should be discarded. Ungeordnet und unsystematisch sei sie, schlüpfrig, ganz und gar unfassbar - jene schreckliche deutsche Sprache, über die der große Mark Twain sich in seinem gleichnamigen Essay auf ebenso spitzfindige wie treffsichere Weise ereifert. When a German gets his hands on an adjective, he declines it, and keeps on declining it until the common sense is all declined out of it. Well, after the student has learned the sex of a great number of nouns, he is still in a difficulty, because he finds it impossible to persuade his tongue to refer to things as “he” and “she,” and “him” and “her,” which it has been always accustomed to refer to it as “it.” When he even frames a German sentence in his mind, with the hims and hers in the right places, and then works up his courage to the utterance-point, it is no use — the moment he begins to speak his tongue flies the track and all those labored males and females come out as “its.” And even when he is reading German to himself, he always calls those things “it,” where as he ought to read in this way: 2. The German word for hell — Hölle — sounds more like helly than anything else; therefore, how necessary chipper, frivolous, and unimpressive it is. I have shown what a bother it is to decline a good (male) friend; well this is only a third of the work, for there is a variety of new distortions of the adjective to be learned when the object is feminine, and still another when the object is neuter. Ich wusste nicht, dass Mark Twain versuchte, Deutsch zu lernen. He also wrote the amusingly literal translation that you see below. That is from The Old Mamselle’s Secret, by Mrs. Marlitt. Jun 27, Matt rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: Of course no bird would do that, but then you must stick to the book. I went often to look at the collection of curiosities in Heidelberg Castle, and one day I surprised the keeper of it with my German. Getting the books the awful german language die schreckliche deutsche sprache mark twain now is not type of inspiring means. Every time a German opens his mouth an also falls out; and every time he shuts it he bites one in two that was trying to get out. Buy Die Schreckliche Deutsche Sprache the a by Mark Twain (ISBN: ) from Amazon’s Book Store. So I insist that this important part of speech should be brought forward to a position where it may be easily seen with the naked eye. We used to speak of a things as a “never-to-be-forgotten” circumstance, instead of cramping it into the simple and sufficient word “memorable” and then going calmly about our business as if nothing had happened. After one short lesson in the alphabet, the student can tell how any German word is pronounced without having to ask; whereas in our language if a student should inquire of us, “What does B, O, W, spell?” we should be obliged to reply, “Nobody can tell what it spells when you set if off by itself; you can only tell by referring to the context and finding out what it signifies — whether it is a thing to shoot arrows with, or a nod of one’s head, or the forward end of a boat.”. Having pointed out, in detail, the several vices of this language, I now come to the brief and pleasant task of pointing out its virtues. It is so in our tongue, and it is notably the case in the German. Fifthly, I would do away with those great long compounded words; or require the speaker to deliver them in sections, with intermissions for refreshments. A person who has not studied German can form no idea of what a perplexing language it is. Joy, joy, with flying Feet the she-Englishwoman comes! ( Log Out /  O, horror, the Lightning has struck the Fish-basket; he sets him on Fire; see the Flame, how she licks the doomed Utensil with her red and angry Tongue; now she attacks the helpless Fishwife’s Foot — she burns him up, all but the big Toe, and even she is partly consumed; and still she spreads, still she waves her fiery Tongues; she attacks the Fishwife’s Leg and destroys it; she attacks its Hand and destroys her also; she attacks the Fishwife’s Leg and destroys her also; she attacks its Body and consumes him; she wreathes herself about its Heart and it is consumed; next about its Breast, and in a Moment she is a Cinder; now she reaches its Neck — he goes; now its Chin — it goes; now its Nose — she goes. Ah the poor Fishwife, it is stuck fast in the Mire; it has dropped its Basket of Fishes; and its Hands have been cut by the Scales as it seized some of the falling Creatures; and one Scale has even got into its Eye, and it cannot get her out. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Was ist für Sie das Schwierigste am Deutschlernen. A Wife, here, has no sex; she is neuter; so, according to the grammar, a fish is he, his scales are she, but a fishwife is neither. At least I am ready to make the proper suggestions. I heard lately of a worn and sorely tried American student who used to fly to a certain German word for relief when he could bear up under his aggravations no longer — the only word whose sound was sweet and precious to his ear and healing to his lacerated spirit. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. A brilliantly insightful essay by our own Samuel Clemens on the inner workings of the German language. The Germans have another kind of parenthesis, which they make by splitting a verb in two and putting half of it at the beginning of an exciting chapter and the other half at the end of it. When a German gets his hands on an adjective, he declines it, and keeps on declining it until the common sense is all declined out of it. There are some exceedingly useful words in this language. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. There are no discussion topics on achreckliche book yet. I have worked at it hard for three level months, and all I have got to show for it is one solitary German phrase — `Zwei Glas‘” (two glasses of beer). This is an extremely easy means to … There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. German ladies who could not be induced to commit a sin by any persuasion or compulsion, promptly rip out one of these harmless little words when they tear their dresses or don’t like the soup. Therefore, it is either der(the) Regen, or die (the) Regen, or das (the) Regen, according to which gender it may turn out to be when I look. There, now, the reader can see for himself that this pronoun business is a very awkward thing for the unaccustomed tongue. Now here is a sentence from a popular and excellent German novel — which a slight parenthesis in it. Account & Lists Account Returns & Orders. Schlag, for example; and Zug. In those days we were not content to embalm the thing and bury it decently, we wanted to build a monument over it. Credit offered by NewDay Ltd, over 18s only, subject to status. Then there are some words which mean one thing when you emphasize the first syllable, but mean something very different if you throw the emphasis on the last syllable. You could not isolated going subsequent to books accretion or library or borrowing from your friends to gate them. The Germans do not seem to be afraid to repeat a word when it is the right one. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. I went often to look at the collection of curiosities in Heidelberg Castle, and one day I surprised the keeper of it with my German. There are people in the world who will take a great deal of trouble to point out the faults in a religion or a language, and then go blandly about their business without suggesting any remedy. One cannot overestimate the usefulness of Schlag and Zug. It would take several lifetimes to consume everything on offer here. “Freundschaftsbezeigungen” seems to be “Friendship demonstrations,” which is only a foolish and clumsy way of saying “demonstrations of friendship.” “Unabhaengigkeitserklaerungen” seems to be “Independencedeclarations,” which is no improvement upon “Declarations of Independence,” so far as I can see. And eighthly, and last, I would retain Zug and Schlag, with their pendants, and discard the rest of the vocabulary. You may load up with ever so good a Verb, but I notice that you never really bring down a subject with it at the present German range — you only cripple it. It opens its Mouth to cry for Help; but if any Sound comes out of him, alas he is drowned by the raging of the Storm. This is why we present the ebook compilations in this website. That is wise. I couldn’t stop laughing when I started to read it so I thought I must buy a copy for myself.

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